Thanks

Haven't really done this in a while.

Sorry.

I guess I feel like my life actually isn't really that exciting.

But.

It is.

I live with an amazing Man.

I have an amazing job that travels me to distant lands.

Like Toronto.

There are moments in every day that I feel more complete.

More happy.

Than I have in years.

It's all to do with the people in my life.

Thank you.

You challenge, anger, frustrate, love, leave, return, and dream.

Thank you.

You keep being you...

And I'll keep being me.

And some time, we'll go get some drinks and talk about all of it.

The fairest portion of the earth.

"We find ourselves in the peaceful possession of the fairest portion of the earth, as regards extent of territory, fertility of soil, and salubrity of climate. ... At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Buonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years.

"At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. ...

"I hope I am over wary; but if I am not, there is, even now, something of ill-omen amongst us. I mean the increasing disregard for law which pervades the country; the growing disposition to substitute the wild and furious passions, in lieu of the sober judgment of Courts; and the worse than savage mobs, for the executive minister of justice. ... Accounts of outrages committed by mobs form the everyday news of the times. ...

"When men take it in their heads to day, to hang gamblers, or burn murderers, they should recollect, that, in the confusion usually attending such transactions, they will be as likely to hang or burn someone, who is neither a gambler nor a murderer as one who is; and that, acting upon the example they set, the mob of to-morrow, may, and probably will, hang or burn some of them, by the very same mistake. And not only so; the innocent, those who have ever set their faces against violation of law in every shape, alike with the guilty, fall victims to the ravages of mob law; and thus it goes on, step by step, till all the walls erected for the defense of the persons and property of individuals, are trodden down, and disregarded. But all this even, is not the full extent of the evil. By such examples, by instances of the perpetrators of such acts going unpunished, the lawless in spirit, are encouraged to become lawless in practice; and having been used to restraint, but dread of punishment, they thus become, absolute unrestrained. ... Thus, then, by the operation of this mobocratic spirit, which all must admit is now abroad in the land, the strongest bulwark of any Government, and particularly of those constituted like ours, may effectually be broken down and destroyed ... [and] this Government cannot last. ...

"The question recurs, 'how shall we fortify against it?' The answer is simple. Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well wisher to his posterity, swear by the blood of the Revolution, never to violate in the least particular, the laws of the country; and never to tolerate their violation by others. As the patriots of seventy-six did to the support of the Declaration of Independence, so to the support of the Constitution and Laws, let every man remember that to violate the law, is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the character of his own, and his children's liberty. ... In short, let it become the political religion of the nation; and let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the brave and the gay, of all sexes and tongues, and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly upon its altars.

"The scenes of the revolution are not now or ever will be entirely forgotten; but that like everything else, they must fade upon the memory of the world, and grow more and more dim by the lapse of time. ... They were the pillars of the temple of liberty; and now, that they have crumbled away, that temple must fall, unless we, their descendants, supply their places with other pillars, hewn from the solid quarry of sober reason. Passion has helped us; but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason must furnish all the materials for our future support and defense. Let those materials be molded into general intelligence, sound morality and, in particular, a reverence for the constitution and laws. ...

"Upon these let the proud fabric of freedom rest, as the rock of its basis; and as truly as has been said of the only greater institution, 'the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.' "

Author: Abraham Lincoln
Title: "The Perpetuation of our Political Institutions"
Date: January 1838

I love it...

Vancouver SunTO JACK SCOTT, VANCOUVER SUN

October 1, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City

Sir, 

I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I'd also like to offer my services.

Since I haven't seen a copy of the "new" Sun yet, I'll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn't know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I'm not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley. 

By the time you get this letter, I'll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I'll let my offer stand. And don't think that my arrogance is unintentional: it's just that I'd rather offend you now than after I started working for you. 

I didn't make myself clear to the last man I worked for until after I took the job. It was as if the Marquis de Sade had suddenly found himself working for Billy Graham. The man despised me, of course, and I had nothing but contempt for him and everything he stood for. If you asked him, he'd tell you that I'm "not very likable, (that I) hate people, (that I) just want to be left alone, and (that I) feel too superior to mingle with the average person." (That's a direct quote from a memo he sent to the publisher.)

Nothing beats having good references.

Of course if you asked some of the other people I've worked for, you'd get a different set of answers. 

If you're interested enough to answer this letter, I'll be glad to furnish you with a list of references — including the lad I work for now. 

The enclosed clippings should give you a rough idea of who I am. It's a year old, however, and I've changed a bit since it was written. I've taken some writing courses from Columbia in my spare time, learned a hell of a lot about the newspaper business, and developed a healthy contempt for journalism as a profession. 

As far as I'm concerned, it's a damned shame that a field as potentially dynamic and vital as journalism should be overrun with dullards, bums, and hacks, hag-ridden with myopia, apathy, and complacence, and generally stuck in a bog of stagnant mediocrity. If this is what you're trying to get The Sun away from, then I think I'd like to work for you 

Most of my experience has been in sports writing, but I can write everything from warmongering propaganda to learned book reviews. 

I can work 25 hours a day if necessary, live on any reasonable salary, and don't give a black damn for job security, office politics, or adverse public relations. 

I would rather be on the dole than work for a paper I was ashamed of. 

It's a long way from here to British Columbia, but I think I'd enjoy the trip. 

If you think you can use me, drop me a line. 

If not, good luck anyway. 

Sincerely, Hunter S. Thompson

ok...so.

I've been thinking a lot about choices lately.

It's totally cheesy... but I am figuring out fist hand that contentment is a choice.

I don't know that I can totally get behind the whole happiness/sadness are choices, but I am absolutely rocking the contentment thing.

Work is hard, life is hard, relationships are hard, but ultimately you have to make the choice to be ok with it all... or not.

I've started a campaign to be aggressively ok with, well, all of it.

So that's that.

I had a great summer.  It was my first time leaving Santa Fe knowing that I don't need to go back.  There are dozens of other people that will get infinitely more out of being in that place... that job... that experience than I will, for one more year.

I also really need some time not working on an opera.  Three years straight is a bit much.

I realize this is maybe the most boring post I've ever posted... but that's pretty much where I'm at right now.

Now, I'm going to go make myself a Rum and Coke, give the new Massive Attack a listen, and track down some CocoRosie tickets for next week.

All in all, pretty content.

The way

it is.

There was a boy... they say he wandered very far... over land and sea.

I want to travel.

Again.

Traveling gains perspective, experience and awakening.  These are apparently, things I want right now.  The last couple of times I've left the country, although amazing experiences in their own right, were very much necessitated and determined by the fact that they were business trips.  Business trips have a strange way of being very... um... business oriented.  Fun, exciting and full of chills and spills however they may be, you can never get over the fact that you are there for a very specific purpose.

To accomplish... something.

Travel, life altering travel, involves a lot more, uselessness.  No hotel reservations, no cab rides from the airport, no "job" to fulfill.  You're just, well, there.  Woken up in the middle of the night by the guy peeing on the floor of your communal bathroom.  Drunk, and figuring out exactly how big vatican city really is, when you have to remember where your bed is.  Discovering that beer costs less than water, and tastes better.  Figuring out that boats do indeed make for much more exciting taxis than cars do.  Knowing how young and naive your own country really is.  And learning just enough in a dozen languages to know where you are, and maybe, where you are going next.

Take it as it comes, leave the rest, never plan out further than you can see.

I miss that.  The immediacy of it.

I have this theory about knowing people.  It involves needing to have three shared experiences with someone else, before you can say you really know them.  You have to travel with them, drink with them, and see them angry.  Oddly enough, taking a trip like the kind I crave right now, will probably involve all those.

I'm thinking, Spain.  Who's in?

My heart's a drummer

I thought I would share the view of my week with you.  I have to say, it is easy to get spoiled working in this profession.  When things like assistants, crew, tech tables, monitors, headsets, and a place to sit down don't exist, this job gets a lot more... complicated.

Don't get me wrong, it's been a blast.  It's just funny to me, when the majority of my job is in the days and weeks spent obsessing over parts of shows that last for seconds, when I spent 45 minutes cueing this show standing backwards on the last row of chairs so I could see/talk to my bored programer (intentional).  Going straight into runs where my head was in a score, calling the cues that I just wrote and still haven't really seen, standing behind a comically large projector shooting translation titles out of the front, and 134º fan blown air out the back, trying to lend a hand to the titles operator when the program she is running to display the translations crashes... again.

But it really has been fun.  Everyone that I am working with is so good at what they do, that putting a show like this one together takes almost nothing.  It just... happens.

So, cheers to my colleagues and compatriots.  May we continue to make things... happen.

It's that time again

Time for Michael to go delving deep into the back log of papers, essays, critiques, and general dribblings that is his evidence of Higher Education.  I will have you know, a lot of time and money were spent in putting that "F" in my B.F.A. and I like to remember, occasionally, the steps I've taken to get... well... here.

That being said, to look at all of this, I'm pretty sure "now me" and "22 year old me" would have some stuff to sort out, were we to have a sit down talk, over drinks.

I mean, wow.

Brief Examples:

I actually started an essay for my "Absurdism in Performance" class with the line, "Citizens of Western Idealism, HEAR ME!".

In an essay for "Western Thought" I described Aristotle's Poetics as "... about as helpful a guidebook for performance and art, as Marxism turned out to be for the Soviets."

Using my newly favored term "Homo Aestheticus" 14 times in a critique describing the modern theater patron. (side note, I still think it's a great book and worth study)

And my personal favorite of this evenings wanderings, in an essay for "Western Thought", describing Aristotle's Poetics as "... about as helpful a guidebook for performance and art, as Marxism turned out to be for the Soviets."

Really?

It is legit fascinating to look over works, deeds, and catalogues of an older version of yourself.  To trace back thoughts, emotions, ideas to a less articulate / more passionate state.

I think it would be truly neat to be able to have that sit down talk, over drinks, with myself.  Just leaving home for the first time, getting into this field of art and performance for the first time, and accepting for the first time that I don't have a clue.  But in the same breath, settling in with the knowledge that I am really not that far removed from that person.  At all.

The only real difference is time spent living, and the interactions of other people...

Hmm.

In other news, the show I've been working on opens Friday / closes Saturday.  Company holiday party tomorrow night (no obscenely loud Karaoke this year... lame).  And wrapping up prep for the Winter shows.

Next time, maybe we can explore some of my pre-18 poetry together...

Get out the eyeliner and the fishnets.

How does one

break the cycle of familiarity and complacency?

Honestly, I'm all ears.

So, quick story.  I say (often, and to the disapproving eye rolls of my room-mate/office-mate/life-partner) that I do not enjoy musicals.  That may not be entirely true.  In fact, there are quite a few musicals that I get a lot of joy-ish listening to.  One of them in-particular has been on my mind a lot lately.

Actually one song, of one of them, has a context that has been robbing me of sleep and general well being.

"What do you get?"

You see, world, I've been thinking a lot about relationships: close distance, long distance, casual, friendly, sexual, confusing, amazing, frustrating, life changing, what we get from them, and what we give to them.

"Someone to crowd you with love."

I think I have come to a point of realization, that the answer to the question that titles this entry, isn't found within yourself.  We lack the perspective on ourselves to radically and powerfully better/change ourselves in any kind of permanent capacity.

"Someone to force you to care."

That's why we entangle ourselves in another's life.  We grow, they grow, and if you are really lucky, you both grow in the same direction, and are able to continue to give that needed perspective throughout a changing, maturing, surprising life.

"Someone to make you come through, who'll always be there..."

But I guess that's what we want in the end, a companion.  In the truest sense.  A pair, intended to compliment or match each other.

"... As frightened as you, of being alive."

So here's to musicals that make you think.  Or rather, here's to created works that make you realize that everyone thinks the same things.