I am determined

To fall asleep tonight.

But a coffee sounds really good.

I have of late, been suffering from the inability to fall asleep at a decent hour. That, compounded with the fact that all this week we have been maintaining “office” hours at work have led to a general gauzy haze around the day.

I keep thinking back to that one Palahniuk book. He discusses, with himself, the idea that when you don’t sleep, you are never really awake either. That you can’t have one without the other.

I would love to make an addendum to my pinky sworn oath. An addendum that has to do with caffeine. I wish there was a way to gently and easily let yourself down from the stuff. But I guess that just wouldn’t be the fun of the one-two combo of chemical and psychological addiction.

I guess you’re permitted at least one vice. Right?

Today contained another goodbye. In all fairness, the same goodbye as last night, different locale. And a good deal of rain and gloom to fit the theme.

It would have been great to have a cup of coffee.